Emotional Intelligence  and Your Hot Buttons in the workplace…

When we are under stress, we are more likely to compromise our impulses. Displaying negative or positive emotions effects the mood of the environment and relationships when we face a tough challenge. Great leaders are derailed without the ability to manage their feelings with emotional intelligence. Moods are contagious. We can learn how to manage our emotions for our benefit, the people we work with and the workplace.

Acknowledge your reactions:

Denying or minimizing our reactions will also minimize the the valuable information our emotions hold and the energy they offer. Feelings “don’t go nowhere”. Developing cognitive self-talk gives us choices about our behavior so we can maximize communication rather then crippling it. Our communication may take an ugly turn when under stress. It is very important to have stress busters in your professional tool kit.

Listen

When one of our hot button is pushed, it is feedback we can use to make an informed choice about our behavior. Values, goals and desired outcomes are at stake here. Even in the sports and political arena this is important. Recall the incident of Congressmen Joe Wilson during Obama’s speech on health care last week or Serena’s meltdown on the tennis court. Imagine the outcome if the emotional energy were directed toward constructive activities.

Guide

Channeling our emotional energy in an appropriate and constructive response is a competency we can all learn. That is the good news; more good news is that, in the long run, everyone benefits from using the power of our emotions to energize our motivation.

Questions to Ask

The hot buttons we have are usually associated with our interpretation of the event. What are you making up, or choosing to believe about the event? Our belief system is the result of past experience and socialization. Assumptions can wield negative power in communication with misunderstanding: It is more empowering to examine your assumptions with great tools. What data do you have that was selectively drawn to buttress your interpretation? For this last question, examine the situation through the eye of a video cam. Who, what, where, when, how – just the facts. You can then engage in a mutual feedback conversation for a constructive outcome.